The Weight We Carry and the Power of Letting Go

I’ve never been one to explore the meaning of the planets or their cycles, but as of late, I’ve been really drawn to learning about them. And doing what I can to align with the energy of their placement. But the moon? Oh that beautiful moon. There’s something about it that stops me in my tracks.

Maybe it’s the light of it, the way it makes me feel, the kind of magical pull it has over everything from the ocean and tides, to moods and emotions, to the way it marks time. In a way, the moon’s cycle feels more honest than a calendar. And today is the full moon at the start of a new month.

March has come and gone, and April is just beginning. Winter has ended, and spring is in the air. And even though it’s a damp and cold day here in Nova Scotia, I can feel myself itching to put away the winter gear and break out my spring jean jacket. April is a good month to put away what you don’t need anymore, and to hold space for, or dare I say allow, what is yet to come to arrive.

I’ve been sitting with this question lately, and feel its an important one so I wanted to share it with you… What am I still wearing, or carrying, that I don’t need anymore?

When we carry the weight of our past, or bury ourselves in guilt, fear, shame, or doubt, it weighs us down. It burns up our energy. It burns us out. I know these feelings well. Over the years, countless times have I burned the candle at both ends leaving myself completely depleted. But like a candle, it can’t burn bright unless it has the fuel to keep it going. Your personal power is very much like a candle’s wax–it’s the fuel that keeps you moving through life. Another question worth sitting with is this: where have you been expending your power unknowingly? Have you been carrying too much, doing too much, forcing too much, for way too long?

What is Personal Power?

We talk about personal power as though it’s something we either have or we don’t. As though some people are born with it and others spend a lifetime searching for it. But in my experience, personal power is less a fixed quality and more a living, breathing resource. One that can be cultivated, depleted, and reclaimed. You just have to remember to check in and see where the fuel gauge is at… a practice I’m still learning to remember.

In Yoga, your personal power lives in the region of the solar plexus, what’s called the Manipura chakra. It sits between the navel and the sternum and governs our will, our sense of self, and our capacity to move through life with intention at the wheel. Physically, this region is home to one of the most significant nerve networks in the body, outside of the brain and spinal cord. It’s why we feel anxiety as a knot in the stomach. Why a gut feeling is called a gut feeling. And why we describe courage as having the guts, and fear as having none.

This is also where we process everything we take in. Not just food, but experiences. Conversations. Conflicts. And what can feel like the relentless inputs of a full and demanding life.

When your power centre is strong and well tended to, we respond to life instead of react to it. We make decisions from a place that feels grounded and assured. We know when to step forward and when to step back. We can say confidently express no without needing to apologize for it.

However when it’s depleted, everything feels heavier. We give more than we have to. We stay quiet when we should speak up. We say yes when we really mean no. We fall into bed exhausted and wake up already feeling behind schedule.

Sound familiar?

The Quiet Ways we Give our Power Away

Giving your power away doesn’t usually look dramatic. It doesn’t look like a single moment of weakness or a grand resignation. It looks like a thousand small choices, made mostly out of habit or fear or a deep-seated belief that other people’s needs matter more than your own.

It looks like staying up too late watching one more episode when your body has been asking you to rest for hours. It looks like reaching for food that numbs instead of nourishes, because you don’t have the energy to do anything else. It looks like swallowing what you actually want to say, again, because the moment doesn’t feel safe enough or the relationship doesn’t feel strong enough, or you just don’t trust that your voice will be heard and your message received.

I have done all of these things. And I still do some of them. But what I’ve learned, slowly and imperfectly, is that each of those small choices is either a withdrawal from or a deposit into the account of my own power.

Self-care, real self-care, is not a bubble bath or a treat. It is the daily practice of making deposits. Going to bed when your body asks. Eating food that actually supports you. Speaking up, even imperfectly, even if your voice shakes and the tears flow. Choosing, again and again, to tend the fire at your centre instead of letting it get snuffed out.

This is not selfishness. It is the foundation of and for everything else you want to do and be and give in this life.

What we’ve been building this month

Throughout March, inside the AUM@home Community, we worked with the core and the pelvic floor–the physical foundation of your body. They are the muscles and structures that literally hold us upright and support everything we do. And woven through all of it has been this understanding: that the body is not separate from the rest of your life. That a strong centre supports not just your posture but your capacity to meet life with a kind of quiet strength that feels steady and truly empowering.

And now, on the full moon, at the end of one month and the beginning of another, it feels right to pause and ask:

What am I carrying?

We all carry things from one season of life into the next. Whether from winter into spring, or from one decade into another one. What is something you’ve been carrying? And what do you need support with in order to put it down?

You don’t have to have an answer these questions right now. Sometimes the most powerful thing is just to sit with the question. To let the full moon do what it does, cast a little light on the things we’ve kept hidden or buried in the dark.

Last night, we practiced Yin, and with it held the intention of release. Moving through swan pose, supported straddle, and a restorative closing sequence, it was an hour of giving ourself permission to just let go. If that feels like something you’d like to explore, feel free to unroll your mat and practice with me over on YouTube.

And speaking of letting go, April’s theme inside the community is Emerge and Lighten. It picks up exactly where last month left off. March was about building strength in our core and foundation. Now we turn our attention to what we can shed, what we can release, and how we might step into spring feeling a little lighter, a little freer and a little more like ourselves.

Here’s to trading winter coats for spring jackets.

xoM