You’re Not Lazy. You’re Stuck. There’s a Difference.

Most people think being stuck is the problem.

It’s not. Being stuck is the signal.

I’ve been in the health and wellness industry for thirty years, and one of the most common things I hear from women is some version of: “I know I should practice/workout. I want to. I always feel so much better when I do. But for whatever reason, I just can’t seem to make it happen.”

First let me start with nothing is wrong with you. But something is asking for your attention.

What Yoga actually teaches us

As much as the wellness industry might prompt you to believe, Yoga is not about the poses. I know that might sound strange coming from a Yoga Teacher, but hear me out.

The poses, the breathing, the stillness, these are all tools. Tools that you learn about and then integrate through practice. And by practice here I mean on a yoga mat. But what they’re really teaching you is how to notice. How to slow down long enough to feel what’s happening in your body and your mind before you react to whatever you are noticing. That skill of noticing IS the whole practice.

And here’s the part that changes everything: what you learn to notice on the mat starts to show up everywhere else too. In how you respond to stress. In how you talk to yourself when things don’t go as planned. In how quickly you can recognize when something is off and what you might need to feel better.

The mat is where we practice. Life is where we use what we’ve refined through practice.

Practice through obstacles

Patanjali was a scholar who wrote about Yoga thousands of years ago. In his writing, the Yoga Sutras, he listed nine obstacles that get in the way of practice and growth. He called them the antarayas.

What I find remarkable about this list is how honest it is. He didn’t describe lofty spiritual problems. He described the very human experience of knowing what you need and still not doing it. Of feeling heavy and flat and unmotivated. Of doubting whether any of it is even worth it.

Two of those obstacles speak directly to what we’re talking about here.

The first is styana. A kind of mental dullness. A heaviness that doesn’t have a clear reason. You’re not sick. You’re not overwhelmed exactly. You just feel slow. Like the spark that usually gets you going has gone quiet.

The second is alasya. Often translated as laziness, but I’d describe it more as a kind of quiet shutting down. When the body and mind have been carrying too much for too long, they stop co-operating. Not because you’re weak. Because something needs to give.

Neither of these are a character flaws. They are merely obstacles in this game called life. (Remember that game? I do ☺️) And like the game of Life, obstacles are things that can be moved through, that can be overcome, once you know what you’re actually working with.

Curiosity changes everything

Here’s what I’ve seen again and again, in my own practice and in the women I teach.

When we call ourselves lazy, it’s like there’s a dead stop. Like a door is slammed closed in our face. There’s nothing useful to do with laziness, except perhaps feel down about it.

But when we get curious, when we slow down and ask “what is actually happening here?” the door remains open, even if just a crack.

You’re not lazy. You’re stuck. And stuck has information in it. Stuck is asking you something. Maybe it’s asking you to rest. Maybe it’s asking you to simplify. Maybe it’s asking you to notice that you’ve been pouring out for everyone else and running on empty for yourself.

You don’t find that out by pushing harder. You find it out by pausing and paying attention while you stand at the trheashold.

That’s the practice. That’s what the mat teaches you to do.

And when you get stuck again?

Because you will. We all do. This is not a failure of the practice. It another opportunity to flex your ability to show up and do the work. By work I mean the getting curious about what’s happening, even if you do nothing else.

The difference, over time, is that you start to recognize things faster. The fogginess feels familiar instead of alarming or daunting. You know what it means and you know what helps. You’ve built something inside yourself that knows how to find its way back. It’s like having a key to that door that closed and, instead of you banging on it exhausting yourself further, you simply remember to use the key, unlock the door, and walk through to the other side.

That’s what I’m really teaching in my classes. Not how to do a perfect pose. How to know yourself well enough to support yourself in it. On and off the mat. In any season. In any circumstance.

That capacity lives in you. The practice just helps you find it.

If this is landing somewhere real for you, I’d love for you to come and explore it further. This month inside the AUM@home Community, we’re working with this theme of obstacles and learning the practices that help us move through them.

That capacity lives in you. The practice just helps you find it. And once you find it, you don’t lose it. You’re not lazy. You’re stuck. And Yoga offers you the key.

See you on the other side,

xoM