Learning to Love What I Used to Hide

Reflections from the halfway point of this month’s Metta practice

It’s been two weeks now of leaning into the mantra:
May I be kind to this body.
May I meet myself with compassion.
May I learn to love what I used to hide.
May I treat this body not as a burden, but as a blessing.

And… I’m feeling something shift.

Not drastically. Not suddenly. But quietly. Consistently. Softly. Like something inside me is finally exhaling.

This past weekend, I was at my baby sister’s wedding — a beautiful, joy-filled celebration of love, family, and connection. And yes, I was all dressed up. Hair done, makeup on, wearing a gown that made me feel like I had stepped into the fullest version of myself. And something funny happened. I stood taller. Smiled wider. Felt… confident. Men noticed. People commented.

But the real magic?

I noticed.

I saw myself in the mirror and didn’t flinch. I saw my reflection — and for the first time in a very, very long time… I didn’t pick it apart. Instead, I thought: “Wow. She’s beautiful. She’s radiant. She’s me.”

That might not sound radical. But if you’ve ever stood in front of a mirror and hated what you saw — if you’ve ever avoided your own gaze or whispered unkind things about your body under your breath — then you know how huge this moment really is. Because for me, this shift has been decades in the making.

I remember being 14, maybe 15, and already feeling like my body was something to fix. This was too big, that was crooked, that was ugly and those definitely need to change. I nitpicked at anything and everything I saw in my reflection.

That inner voice — the one that criticizes and compares — stayed with me through my teens, my 20s, my pregnancies, my post-partum days, and even into my wellness journey as I recovered from cancer.

And while yoga and Ayurveda gave me tools, this past month of metta practice, loving kindness, has truly been the balm I’ve been longing for. These past two weeks, I’ve been repeating this mantra almost daily. And somewhere in that repetition, something softened. Something shifted.

Maybe it’s the calisthenics workouts I’ve been adding in — not to punish myself, but to honour my strength. Maybe it’s that wedding glow of being with my family and making new friends. Maybe it’s the way I’m finally choosing to speak to myself like someone I love. Whatever it is — it feels good. Really good.

And if you’ve been longing to feel more at home in your body… I want you to know that it’s possible. It takes practice. Patience. Presence. But mostly, it takes love. Loving kindness. For your breath, your body, your thoughts, your past selves, your present self — all of it.

This is what Yoga and Ayurveda continue to teach me. Not how to be perfect, but how to be whole. And it’s the very heart of the training I’ll be offering this fall : A journey into the wisdom of Yoga + Ayurveda, not just as a certification to teach others, but as a sacred invitation to truly come home to yourself. To see. To soften. To support the woman you are, and the one you’re still becoming.

Because the mirror is softer these days. And so am I. And maybe this what healing really looks like. ✨

With so much metta,
Michelle
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🪷 P.S. Want to be among the first to know when my training opens? Visit here and stay connected. It’s going to be a journey of heart, healing, and deep self-care, and I’d love to walk it with you.